It has been 15 days since you dropped the bomb on me. Still, I have trouble believing that you are getting married, these 15 days have been full of drama in my life the most horrible days. I have never been this low at any point in time so far. we both had it coming, we both were aware that this is going to happen, you and I can never be together, so why so much pain now??? It took me these 15 days to realise why I'm so hurt and in this pain, not because of you for telling me all of a sudden that you are getting married, or that you already like that girl so much that you don't say I love you to me anymore when we chat or talk over phone, or now you indulge in chatting with her on the last day of us being together, or you ignoring me and asking me to stop messaging you anymore as it is better for both of us....NO..... these are not the reasons for my pain. Because it is the truth and its bound to happen as you are starting your life with that girl.
Then what is the reason??
I never put 100% efforts in convincing my parents for us. never fought for my love as you did because something or the other thing came up with my parents, they were going through so much pain that I couldn't be the reason for another shock for them.– I regret...
I took you for granted. yes, you must be waiving your head right now saying it's not true but when I think of all the fights that we had on silly stuff, we took breaks in our relationship so many times because of me, apart from that I didn't make you feel special ( I messaged you on the other day about not buying lace lingeries and nighty that you adore so much)– I regret...
Karma is a bitch- although we both knew we are never going to get married, I always thought that I'll be the first one to get married, it would have been an easier transaction for me. I was going for an easy way, I never thought what will happen to you, how will you live your life without me in it, I was being so selfish.... but karma ....!!! you are getting married first, I was not prepared for it at all and that is the major cause of pain for me.– I regret now that I never thought about you, I should have....
My Apologies: I apologize for acting out all these 15 days like a crazy bitch, but u understand my pain, I think you are going through it too.
My expectations: when I was groom hunting, I always use to say that you are my husband and the next guy is going to be a compromise for me, now I don't expect that from you because some girl is leaving her parents house for you and you are responsible for her well-being and happiness. but, as your girlfriend and your best friend from last 5 years, I expect you to maintain contact with me, you had made some promises to me too, I want you to keep those promises- promise to keep me in your heart forever, loving me endlessly, I want nothing more than this. your friendship is all I seek now from you.
I am going to cherish all the moments we had together and will keep you in my heart forever.
I know it is not easy for you, but still, you have her now so it's easy comparatively. don't neglect me as if I am some girl behind your life, who will mess things up in your married life, I'm not that person you should know that. You just messaged me saying that stop messaging me it will be better for both of us, kind of broke my heart.
Guideline for our new relationship:
- I'm going to write you every night 1 email about my day, just like we use to do it before.– want to keep some connection with you.
- it is all up to you if you want to reply back or just delete the email as you receive it- I will be happy if you reply. I would have done it for you if I would have gotten married first.
- If I can't stop the urge to message you, I will message you on facebook messenger, it is safer than WhatsApp if you have an issue with it, let me know I will not do it, also I'll reply back to you on WhatsApp only when you ping me.
- please please reply nicely, we are friends, not strangers. I was not the only one in love in our relationship. you have responsibilities too.
there is a lot to write but this is it as of now. I'll keep the trend going, I hope you do too.